When a person goes into a relationship they would never think that they are "unsure" of it. The sad reality is that people have indeed that hidden feeling of "ambivalence" towards relationships- especially the real ones.
When it comes to ambivalence, people who usually feel this are those who are in a relationship but feel that they haven't found the right person yet. There are also those who are in a relationship but are conscious about their ambivalent attitude. These are the types that want to be in a relationship but can't sort out their feelings. They have the relationship in mind but think that there are also more important things, such as:
-Keeping things to themselves.
-Avoiding the pain relationships bring.
-Holding on to that great, single life.
-Being successful in your job.
-Not taking the risks.
Being ambivalent can lead you away from having a real relationship, but you can do something about it. You can control your desires and minimize these feelings of uncertainty. Here are some things that you can do about it:
1. Always be realistic about your goals.
When you have all those voices in your heading giving their opinions on things, like how to run your relationship, your job and your life- it can get you beat up. Remember though, that you can never muffle out all the sounds. All the decisions that you make often times come from inadequate data. Unless you are sure that you are 100% of the outcome then hold back making a decision. Or else, you'd end up making goals that can be far away from your reach- or too good to be true.
2. Pay attention.
When those feelings start to stir inside you: doubt, fear, hesitation and confusion- then try to take a break. How do you tell? Here are the ansswers: (a) When you are always asking for second opinion with friends; and (2) When you are always going after those obsessive conversations about relationships. When you feel that you are going there then you have to stop and decide for yourself. What do you really want? If you can't decide then you won't get it.
3. Keep away from ambivalence.
If you find yourself stuck with it, then think more positively. Think that you are sure about your decisions, that you are not as ambivalent as you think. Do something about it since your actions can change the course of things. When you act, you get results. So instead of thinking about all the uncertainties that relationships can bring- confront it. Act instead of just thinking. If you try and behave that a loving relationship is a priority for you then you'd get more results rather than confusing yourself. This get to help you decide which things are really important.
Having those feelings of uncertainty and it's not entirely good or bad. Nourishing or ignoring these feelings will not make them go away. Just acknowledge these different points of views and sort them out. By doing so you can carefully weigh your options before making a decision. Having good decision making skills can help you especially when it comes to relationship. You just have to remember that you don't only think for yourself, consider your partner as well. Dealing with these feelings will be more beneficial for you.